time to drop it

This afternoon when I stepped out of the train after 3 long sessions meeting with different clients, I felt somewhat weird. While the train was on its way heading towards Clementi, my subconscious mind spoke to me. It emitted this sense of danger, call it spider sense if you will. I started looking inwards, after a short while I managed to identify the source of this wrongness.

During this recent spate of hectic schedule, I was unconsciously blind siding myself by developing tunnel vision and I knew it could get potentially very dangerous. My brain due to the recent overload of external stimuli had kicked itself  into overdrive mode  (the general direction of my tunnel vision) . This is causing my recent inability to sleep. This inability to sleep further compounded my excessive brain activity. It was a vicious cycle. I was literally walking around like an highly animated zombie during day time in an unnatural state of prolonged hung over.

Pasha a few days ago while we were doing some discussions in the west coast park noted this drastic decrease in my recent span of attention and also this tunnel vision of mine.  I have to admit that is the truth. Information is just slipping off my mind before I could even register it to my memory. In fact there have been more than a few occasions, when I experienced serious time lag when attempting to retrieve from my brains facts and information that should have been at my finger tips at any single time (talk about trying to recall what your own name is, haha!). There are increasingly more occasions when I develop this tunnel vision and enter a state of fixation.

Jim while driving my back to his place to discuss about his website pointed out to me, the time lag I had registering “contest” as “contest” instead of “content” during our IMH presentation. Damned! I should have consulted a doctor while I was there at IMH today. 😛

Hmmm, actually the part about me bringing up the fact that they once had their Hawaiian themed annual dinner and dance at the Expo really got them disoriented. I play my little pranks sometimes, I just can’t help myself.

Back to this issue about my insomnia, I think I got Satheesh really annoyed with it today. Opps. sorry my friend.

Hmmmm… I need to find a solution to it soon.

A possibility to this is taking a long break. I mentioned to Jim while I was in the car that I was intending of taking a two months break in some cheap 3rd world countries with no internet or communications facilities and live under 100usd per month after these current projects of mine finished.

While Jim brought up a valid point about the possibility of me losing lots of business in the process. In this case, it is two against one.

Pasha advised that if I go on anymore like this, something irreparable will break.

Dad has been admonishing me with this statement over and over again recently. “Son, make money for yourself and not for the doctors. ”

Now that Alena is out of the picture and is nicely fending for herself, there is really no reason for my continued presence around on this tiny red dot. Ricky was joking just the other day about this.

“It was weird what happened to you while you started hanging around her two years ago. Now that she is out of the picture, I think you will be getting back to your normal self soon enough. It was even amazing you stayed with her for so long, two long years. It was breaking the guineas world record man. The only other girl that I know of that even got close was just 2 months and you didn’t even see that girl more than once a week. Haha ”

I think for my health, I should really start making provisions for this long over due break of mine. I need to get my spiritual center back.

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