today I had the opportunity to observe my body's physiological response when being on the receiving end of extremely angry screams and cries from an angry person.
the ear was ringing and the chest got tense while I was observing it all. Liberation came when I realize these were just bodily sensations. I as a living being could choose with total freedom my response.
suddenly I recollect some childhood experience and gain insight into my aversion towards causing anger in people during my interactions and thus bending backwards.
Whenever playmates go into bout of tears and I happened to be within the same immediate convict of the situations one of the adults would come along and give us all a beating. The whopping would come first before the adults attempt at clarification.
this association between anger, crying and experienced physical pain was left as a sub imprint in the mind that was never fully addressed until today.
Now that this association has been clearly surfaced, I could conclude the adults back then were operating out of ignorance and should be forgiven, it is perfectly safe to be in a situation interacting with a angry screaming person, it is perfectly ok to simply observe his/her pain and anger