I’m sipping my cup of cacao this morning, staring at today’s Oracle casting—38, Opposition. “In small matters, good fortune,” it reads. That little phrase lingers as I think back to my weekly call with my parents. Opposition feels like the undercurrent of everything lately—family hopes clashing with stark reality, financial burdens wrestling with personal values, even the big questions of life versus death. It’s a lot to unpack, so let’s dive in while keeping it grounded.
First, there’s my dad, always looping back to this dream of a reunion between me, my daughter Mulan, and her mom, Sonia. I can hear the quiet longing in his voice over the phone, but I wish he wouldn’t fixate on it. Structurally, it’s a tough sell—geographically, we’re at opposite poles. I’m rooted here building Agroverse.shop, and they’re settled far off. I’ve run the permutations in my head, and the odds don’t look good. How do I ease his mind without giving false hope? It’s a tightrope I’m not sure I’m balancing well.
Then my mom dropped some heavy news—she finally opened up about losing two of her sisters to diabetes this year, her third younger sister and the youngest. Hearing her process that grief hit me hard. She also mentioned a cousin now dealing with the same illness. Health feels like this silent opposition creeping over us all. She’s worried about me too—keeps nudging me to get a full body checkup since it’s been a few years. “You’re not getting younger, Gary,” she says with that tone of concern, tying it to the financial risks I’ve taken with my ventures. “Think about retirement,” she adds. Sonia echoed that during a recent FaceTime with Mulan, asking about Singapore’s retirement system. I had to hold back a bit—honestly, with the inverse pyramid of demographics, paying into pensions feels like betting on a Ponzi scheme. Future generations won’t outnumber us to cover the payouts. It’s such a modern construct anyway, this idea of “retirement.” Back in pre-industrial times, there was no such thing—people worked until they couldn’t, often dying young.
That got me spiraling into thoughts on late-stage life. I was chatting with Tiffin out at Harbin Hot Springs not long ago, musing on how perceptions of aging and death have shifted. Ancient thinkers like Socrates—he willingly drank hemlock for his principles. Oda Nobunaga in Japan chose seppuku over capture. Then there’s Seneca, the Stoic philosopher, whose teachings really resonate with me on this. He argued that if life’s value tips negative—if the calculus of living no longer adds up—there’s no point clinging to it. But he goes further, and this is where it gets contrarian to modern thinking. Seneca suggests that as you near the end of life, closer to the “finish line,” holding back becomes counterproductive. Why? Because you’re risking less of your future time compared to when you’re younger. Instead of slowing down, you should actually get more aggressive in taking risks—exhaust what’s left of your body and energy fully. The modern mindset tells us the opposite: as you age, conserve yourself, slow down, avoid pain. But Seneca’s view—and I lean into this—is that your body at that stage is less worth preserving. Why not burn it out on something meaningful? It’s a total flip of today’s “play it safe” mentality around aging.
Compare that to modern healthcare’s mantra: keep alive no matter the cost. I think of my eldest aunt on my dad’s side, bedridden for a decade after a stroke, just… existing in pain. My grandmother, too. What kind of life is that? If I’m honest with myself, I lean toward euthanasia when the calculus doesn’t add up anymore. If the value’s gone, and all that’s left is suffering, why drag it out? That’s opposition right there—modern systems pushing one way, my philosophy pulling another, with Seneca’s radical take on risk in later life echoing in my head.
On the financial front, a piece of the puzzle clicked during the call with my mom. I figured out why Sonia hasn’t been pressing me on the monthly child support I’d agreed to. I’ve had to scale back due to the financial load this year—Trump’s market turbulence threw a wrench in things. Apparently, my parents quietly wired cash to Sonia for Mulan’s expenses. Again. Reading between the lines from a chat with Sonia a few weeks back, and now with my mom’s input, it seems between that money, support from Sonia’s family, and her own salary, there’s more than enough. Maybe even a surplus she’s speculating with—on god knows what. I told her to ease up, focus on Mulan, and didn’t offer any investment insights. I’m no expert—hell, Garis joked on a FaceTime call recently that I’m officially a 败家子, a squanderer of ancestral wealth. Chuckles. Good at cutting expenses, lousy at generating revenue or growing it through my ventures. It’s such a Chinese cultural thing, centering everything on wealth and prosperity. If you’re not building the family fortune, you’re tearing it down. These negative labels, though? I’m used to them by now. I just set them aside, almost like badges of honor—each jab a little pin on my chest for enduring another round of judgment.
There’s more opposition in family dynamics, too. My mom brought up a cousin from my dad’s side—the one who borrowed a big chunk of cash from my friend Jerry here in the US. No updates on repayment, just crickets when I nudge him. My mom’s critical, Sonia apparently had a bad vibe about him when they met (news to me), and even Fatima flagged him before the loan happened. Seems the women around me have sharper radar for red flags than I do. Jerry’s gracious about it, but his wife? Not so much. Chuckles. I told this cousin last time we spoke, “I’m not connected to high net worth folks anymore, no point reaching out.” I’ve tweaked my LinkedIn and social media to dodge these entanglements. Fatima was right to advise me to stop entertaining such requests. “You’re too helpful, Gary, and it bites you in credibility,” she said. Hindsight? Spot on.
Key observation: Opposition isn’t just external—it’s internal, too. I’m wrestling with whether my passive approach to growing Agroverse.shop—setting the frame and waiting for conversions rather than aggressive sales—is the best use of my limited time. Same with the TrueSight DAO community. Is this where my energy should go? Then there’s the cultural weight of wealth, family expectations versus my own path, modern systems versus ancient wisdom like Seneca’s. Hindsight’s 20/20, foresight’s a fog of war. Right now, I’m following this path until a stronger signal pulls me elsewhere.
Reflections for the day: Life’s full of these opposing forces, and I’m not sure I have the answers—just a lot of questions. Seneca’s take on aging and risk really sticks with me—why slow down when time’s shorter? How do you navigate family pressures or cultural labels? Do you feel that tug between societal norms and personal beliefs, especially on big stuff like money or aging? I’d love to hear your thoughts while I sip another cup of cacao and try to chart my way through this maze of opposition.