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Illogic women

Seriously, Alena is not the most logical person on earth. Was just attempting to continue my argument with her just now. The whole thing started last week when we were at the Kota Tinggi WaterFalls Resort, which ended with my sleeping out doors for the entire night with lots of mosquitoes as my bed mates.

So here went the entire flow of the argument this night.

“Look I am the most annoying person on earth”. I stated

“Yes you are.” she affirmed what I said.

“Also, we only argue and fight when we are together” I continued my exposition

“Yes it is true too.” She continued

“We are not happy together.” I stated

She didn’t reply to this.

“Since both of us are not happy together we should part. Since you do find me annoying why continue hanging around me and get annoyed. Shouldn’t you be attempting to maximize your happinese? that is what the normal thing that all humans should do. Happinese maximization.”

“Anyways, I don’t like to spend time fighting and quarrelling. I seriously have better things to do with my life, like enjoying myself and relaxing by the beach. ”

“You are so annoying. ” She finally replied

“Yes, I am. So why are you even trying to keep me around? The natural thing to do is to leave me and get some peace for yourself elsewhere. Anyways didn’t you tell me to get lost the other night? ” I asked

“Well, I told you to get lost, but just temporarily.” She declared.

“What crap is this? When I get lost, I will of course get lost forever. That is the most natural and consistant thing to do isn’t it? ”

“Why are you so annoying? ”

“Look I am annoying, in fact I am the most annoying person on this entire Earth. And I don’t want to annoy you any more. So why don’t you just let me leave and you get someone else? if it is money you want, there are tons guys out there that are richer and even more that will be willing to treat you better than I do. So why me? Then again, you are already working you should be starting to get your pay soon too. So why even bother getting a guy? You can even buy your own cigarettes nows. ” I declared.

“Who on earth is like you. Are you crazy?” she screams

“Yes, I am and I am going to retire into monkhood in Thailand next year after Chinese New Year when things gets quiet over here. If you want to you can join me but only as a nun. ”

“You are crazy! ” she said frustrated.

“Yes I am, and being a normal and rational person you should leave. It is only for your own good. ”

“No I won’t. ” she said

“Are you crazy too? Don’t waste your time on a crazy person like.”

And the whole stupid argument continues. How come it is never possible to convince her that it is only for her own better good that she leaves me alone and seek out someone else.

Damn it. What I truly want is just some peace and quiet. Here I am instead as if stuck with a tenacious chewing gum that refuses to get off my shoes, irregardless of how hard I try to ply it off.

Perhaps I should attempt at another method to convince her that being annoyed, quarrelled and fought by me is not the best way to live life.

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Haka (KA MATE! KA MATE! KA ORA! KA ORA! …)

Seems like a tough year, this one.

Things were pretty messy for me this year. I don’t know whether it is good or whether it is bad.

I managed to get myself involved in a good paying IT project at the beginning of the year for two months for a pharmaceutical firm. The pay I ‘ve got would have been enough to get me to Europe and start the next leg of my journey downwards to Africa.

However, I got myself involved with a girl the second day I got back to Singapore. Ouch! I was having a lot of dilemma deciding between her and my dreams all these while. I couldn’t just leave her and pursue dreams of my own, it would have been too selfish. But having her around requires that I provide a certain level of security and comfort, which she wouldn’t have been able to provide herself in this city. She is from the rural areas. It was pretty stressful financially for me. We sometimes quarrel over these things as well, when her wants are too much for me to provide.

So what happened next was that I got myself involved with another project which was even more lucrative but involved a certain amount of risk.

That one blew up in my face. My client became illiquid and I had no choice but to pay up the team of staffs I hired for the project from my own pocket which pretty much amounts to what I have earned from my previous one.

So basically it got me nicely back to square one all over again. Now I am half decided between looking for a full time job which would be highly torturous or hanging on with my existing group of clients. The income I get is about the same either way.

However considering the fact that my girlfriend would be getting back to Singapore soon and I would need to rent a house, pay for both our daily expense until she gets work(if she does), plus giving allowances to my parents, it is a lot of stress for some one who is incomes is irregular.

Then again if I do indeed get myself a full time job, the salary I do get would be just enough for all these expenses I I listed above, nothing more to finance my dreams. It is really like becoming a wage slave.

My heart is divided. I am still stuck with this question everyday. Having sleepless nights still. Constantly I pray for a possible path to open up before me or for death to come swiftly…

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Silence!

Nice! Alena is once again up to her emotional non-sense and at the most inappropriate of times. The point for argument is so stupid. She says she being a patriot of China will not allow anyone to bad mouth China in front of her. She believes after her learning of English she will potentially get to hear more negative messages about China spoken in English, basically from those among my friends who are Americans, Japanese and Taiwanese. (Nationalities of whom countries have conflicts of interest with China) Further emphasizing she will even have no qualms against getting physical with those of the less cultured and uncouth category.

While her sense of loyalty is amicable, the whole issue remains pointless. Who amongst my friends would be so insensitive and brainless as to bad mouth another individuals’ country in front of him without stating a valid point for argument, and hope to remain a friend of mine. It is not a habit of mine wasting my time befriending brainless fools.

And she has the gall to fault me for withholding to part take in this nonsensical venture of her’s, threatening once against to leave if the situation ever happens and I did as I said I would (to stand aside and not get involved in the politics and affairs between citizens of other countries). There are more important things to worry about. Money is needed to make ends meet for the both of us and we are seriously short of it. Interestingly, I am the one doing work while she is doing the free riding. What right does she have spending her spare effort and free time creating such nonsense and throwing it at me, thereafter assigning the fault unto me. That FOOL!

Tonight I shall refrain from communicating to her, neither will I tomorrow, or the rest of this week, for fear of spouting any words, phrases, sentences damaging to our relationship in the heat of my anger. Silence! is indeed golden, ever more so when my whole being is so in rage and the only thing keeping it in check is but my will.

Women, they have it easy. They can bitch all want about anything, anywhere, anytime, suffering not any consequences. It is their right to bitch. Society has given them a valid license to bitch.

Men! to be men is not easy. Any verbal expressions backed by neither reason, nor logical, but purely emotions is frowned upon by society. They will be considered weak, thus exposing themselves to attacks and assults from those around them. They die really fast that way. For men the only retreat then is silence and the only way forward is action.

Silence is my choice for the day. Action is uncalled for. The rage however listens not to logic, it has a mind of its own. Keep it locked. Lest it does unnecessary damage.

Thus explained is the main reason of the ten years life expectancy differences between a male human and a female human. Females are not compelled by society to keep their non-sense pent up within. They have every right to voice it out however illogical and nonsensical it is, and fault the opposing party for not seeing her logic, or ill-logic. Men being men has no choice but to do otherwise. This rage is like a silent time bomb, it is not good for health.

Tonight will be a sleepless night. Sleep will not come while my blood continues to boil. Damn that BITCH!