Key Points
- happiness is determined by one's state of mind than external events
each person is born with a genetic happiness baseline
- how we perceive our situation
- how satisfied we are with what we have
- Learning and Education is the first step to become happy through the process of Mental Conditioning
- The purpose of our existence is to seek happiness
Happiness is different from pleasure
- 4 factors
Wealth - how much resources we have at our disposal
- Worldy satisfaction - health, friendship
- Spirituality - alignment between our endeavours, our mental attitude and our mission & purpose in life
- Enlightenment - true and unbiased perception of reality
- Buddhism - systematic training of the mind towards happiness
inner discipline to bring calmness of mind - practice of Dharma
identify and cultivate positive mental states
- identify and eliminate negative mental states
- One mental state displaces the other mental state
- cultivating happiness benefits oneself and others around them
happiness is contagious
- happiness inhibits prejudice, instinctual bias against others we perceive as different
- most parts of life relies on help from other individuals
- Compassion and Happiness mutually reinforces each other
- Intimacy
Learning to be vulnerable - basis for relationship of any kind that is not tied to material conditions
- steps
understand and appreciate the background of the person
- stay open-minded
- be honest
- Restricting intimacy to just that "*Special One"* is too limiting
Romance is overrated
- Pain versus Suffering
Living a physical life is learning about how to face pain and still remain a warm human being
- Pain is a very important mechanism that keeps us alive and away from danger
- Suffering stems from ignorance, craving and hatred
- Karma is a very active process
to deeply understand underlying cause and effects
- Stop blaming our circumstances of things beyond our immediate control and start focusing our attention on actionable items
- stop contributing to factors now to effects that want to mitigate from happening in the future
- a wrongful understanding - blaming everything on past life !?!
- Tibetan practice: TongLen - cultivates compassion
- Magnitude of meaning increases threshold to withstand pain
- How to perceive "*Enemy"*
Think Weight training
- A great opportunity for growth
- There are very few of them. They are hence very precious
- They are a great opportunity to learn about patience
- Cleansing of hatred in self
- Cultivation of compassion in moments when patience is tried
- Flexible thinking
develop ability to entertain a variety of view points
- Rigidity is a sign of being to fixated on a specific *Point of View*
- Emphasize on common ground results in feelings of connection with all human being leads to compassion and altruism
- Values - Bedrock foundation
I want to be happy and don't want to suffer
- Other human beings like myself also want to be happy and don't want to suffer
- Suffering unifies all living creature
- Balance
Avoid extremes - a sign of narrow mindedness
- skillful approach to life
- having realistic expectations
- Mental states
One displaces another
- Tolerance and Patience is a cure for all other negative mental state
- Patience - sustains will power
- Humility
patience
- self-discipline
- restrain
- Forgiveness
results from tolerance and patience
- Sincere Motivation - cures fear and anxiety
- Self-confidence - being honest and straight-forward about one's own abilities
Further Readings
- *Intimate Behavior*, Desmond Morris
Hold me tight
- Put me down
- Leave me alone