Some how my game got switched

After some changes to the existing business processes within my company, I soon realized that I have more time on hand now to ponder and consider the deployment of manpower available at hand.

My chief concern now is not getting the work done myself but coming up with a logical and structured method to explain to my collaborators the kind of work that needs to be done. Metaphorically speaking, it is somewhat similar to writing a program that instructs people clearly and concisely what they need to achieve for each particular task assigned to them. Its like playing command and conquer all over again. You have troops available at hand. If you have them deployed wrongly, they get wiped out and the enemy will soon be at the gates. However if the deployment is done properly, the enemy will have problems stepping out of their own gates!

Funny, all along I had this notion in my mind that I play this game of life in the fashion of Baldur’s Gate or Diablo. It is a super cool way to live life. Just go explore what is around in search of quests and vanquish monsters encountered during the adventure, helped some times by Non-player charaters (NPC) of course. Now suddenly, it seems some bloody joker removed Baldur’s Gate or Diablo and inserted command and conquer in its place. I can no longer be  myself  concerned about finishing a quest, it became a huge campaign.

Counting off hand, I have unknowingly increased the team I am managing at the moment to 11 people split into different groups, each group concerned with the accomplishment of a single quest. Thanks to the possibilities that arose due to the flat world I am getting quite an interesting team. Lets see the head counts thus far:

2 Russians
1 Ukrainians
2 Indians
3 Singaporeans
2 Filipinos
1 American

Blame this on my novelty seeking spirit, but I am absolutely curious which other nationalities will I have the opportunity to collaborate with in the near future…

chains chains and more chains…

What a night! Alena who sat beside me on the bench was once again in tears. I watched her, not knowing what to feel. She seemed totally agreeable with the first two terms I set for our relationship but not the third.

Term 1 : We will never ever have kids
Secretly still I think she is coveting that I will have a change of hearts 5 to 6 years down the road. Seriously though I have no intentions at all of bring another child to this world only to be imprisoned by life immediately. Memories of my childhood behind locked doors and grilled bars and afternoon stuck bored brainless in school are still vivid in my mind.

Term 2 : We will never ever commit to the purchase of houses
Was out with Madelyn the other day, heard from her she and her husband just got themselves in a 30 year mortgage. I guess they should be old and immobile by the time they finish paying off their loans. My life out of prison has just started, I am a freeman!!! I don’t really feel any motivations to head back in again for another 30 years of my life.

Term 3 : I will need to wander off alone for months
A life of wandering is the ultimate symbolism of freedom in its purest essence. Being restricted from such would be no different from a life of imprisonment, such a life is no life at all!

I wonder how she would not come to see of it this way? What is the point of keeping me around always, when I will only get more grouchy and restless, causing more annoyance than good to those around me with my presence. My feet is begging for the taste of hitherto unwalked paths and the horizon beckons.

It seems like I have over the past few months dug out all the most unlikely haunts there are to be found on this tiny red dot and am almost to the extent of being able to memorize all the places like the back of my palm. It was so torturous. I just need some new playgrounds to get lost in.

Truth is recently, the sight of my family and Alena only reminds me of the invisible chains they have in their hands. Chains they unknowingly but inevitably will use on me. Chain which Alena aims to build using her tears and quarrels and my parents their constant nagging. Instinctly I felt threatened, very threatened. Even my visit to my relatives yesterday didn’t help.

Oh yeah, this relative of mine was out with serious intent to do some brain washing. “????” The fruit thus fallen soon becomes the root. That was the four lettered gift she bestowed before I left. Prior to my departure, I agreed to have those four words written in my diary but nothing more. Quietly, I actually thought to myself she could go screw herself with that four word of hers. No offence but who is she to dictate how I should live my life. Just the thought of it left an extremely foul and pungent taste in my mouth.

Debts owing should be coming in over the next few weeks. I have finally put a curb to the two most massive drainage to my capital over the past 12 months, Alena and my parents.

I have paid my dues to my parents for the year at least and Alena is on the brink of starting her job in Singapore. Not that the pressure I exterted on her didn’t help. One could look at it as cruel but I don’t really feel the incentive to provide the fish forever. I don’t run a charity organization. There is no such thing as a free lunch, or in my case a constant free lunch. She has been feeling stressed recently from her job search. Hey tough life! too bad. Time for her to seriously get her kick together and move along.

Chains chains chains… All these chains, the time will soon come to drop them all. Lucky on the commercial side there are not much new bondages coming in. Good keep it that way. It will facilitate my shifting. Perhaps I am selfish, perhaps I am heartless. If such is the case, so be it. I only live once and I aim to live it!

The world is turning topsy turvy

I climbed to the top of bus 197 feeling exhausted, having walked for 6hours straight from City Hall to Marine Parade and back to Kallang. I was in my kampong attire (my shorts, slippers and singlet) an attire I normally would be in when I want to be really comfortable and casual.

I sat occupying two places on the seats as usual owing to my size and built. Across me on the other side of the bus was this guy probably in his late twenties well groomed, dressed fashionably, eyeing me in the most funny of ways. I met his stare head on for a while, thinking it at first to be a normal challenge between males. I ignored him thereafter. That stare was not even in the realms of anger provoking, it was just plain weird. I looked out of the bus through the windows on my side. Losing interest I looked back to the floor of bus on the other side, spacing out. Resting my body and mind.

It was then that I notice the most crazy of things. He obviously knew he was in my line of vision, despite my obvious spacing out, so he started rubbing his crouch and then followed the action by rubbing his nipples. Despite the fact these actions were out of sight of those sitting behind and those infront, it was so blatant. What the Fuck!?!

This guy is obviously trying attempting to fornicate himself in front of me, just to gain my attention. He then tried making eye contact with me, I rolled my eye balls and looked away feeling really disgusted. Finally, god have mercy, he dropped off at the bus stop beside Bugis Junction. Off to meet his gay buddies perhaps.

Bloody maniacs, why can’t they stick to girls? Nowadays it seems more and more of guys are targeting guys, losing interest in boobs and discovering new-found hobbies with dicks. And it seems the same is true for girls as well. Singapore is turning Gay and Lesbo alrite. Personally I have nothing against anyone’s sexual preferences, just please mind you, keep your harassments away from me.

And this, apparently is not the first episode of its kind that I encountered in public. Let’s see…

Once at China Town area, I was looking for a new office space and then I was bloody stalked by this well built and dressed hunk, first on the streets, then around in the shopping center for a full 15mins. It was not until through the use of my wit, I came up with a strategy that gave him the slip.

The other time I was standing in the queue in front of the POSB atm in bras basah complex, and there was this well built guy in his forties dressed in body hugging jeans, singlet and a dangling cross for a ear ring, who first walked past in front of the queue, and then came back a second time and then a third time. Finally managing to make eye contact with me the third, he wriggled with eye brow and smile that lecherous smile of his before disappearing around the corner. Fuck! Is that supposed to be a tactic to lead someone on? No wonder he failed so terribly with the opposite and had to finally resort to preying on the same sex.

The final and most crazy time happened during a evening. After much partying at club Double O with the rest of the guys, I started feeling hungry. I left the rest of the folks and started walking alone towards Maxwell market for supper. I was craving for the porridge they sold there. Apparently I took this alittle alley that past through Ann Xiang Hill, behind the rolls of shop houses, which was supposed to be a short cut. On the other side coming down the stairs well was this well built guy, tall rather well groomed too. One look from him and I knew there might be some trouble.

He soon joined me on the alley, walking by my side. I ignored his presence. He seemed drunk. He tried starting a conversation. I patronized him a little. And then he decided to lean in to get flesh. Bloody bastard, I could have killed there and then, had I not restrained myself. This is after all the 21st century, where the use of diplomacy is more desirable then all out warfare.

“Perhaps you are going for the wrong target. I think you should head into that pub over there. It will definitely be much better for your health.” I said pointing at the entrance of a pub we were approaching. But obviously if my recollections were not wrong, that pub was still the wrong pub for him. It was normally populated by Filippino working girls whose normal clientele are middle to old aged local Chinese men or old foreign white men, not young good looking chap only interested in dicks. This hybrid of a specimen I have walking beside me obviously has wandered way out of range of his species’ normal haunts; clubs like Play, Taboo and Tantric which were supposed to be further down the Tanjong Pagar stretch but not here.

Damned, and I thought getting myself a crew cut for a hair style and to dress down when not required would reduce the level of my presence on such radars. Apparently not!

Hmmm.. there must apparently be something seriously wrong that I am doing unkowingly, time to head back to the drawing tables to rework my game plan.

Thinking about it while I was out with Jayan last night, he did mention Aware the women’s assocation in Singapore is attempting to come up a petition to ban gays in Singapore. While I personally dislike being harassed, I do not think such a petition is going to be of much effect other than driving this alternative crowd activity under ground.

Moreover, being a great believer in Voltair’s philospohy, liberty and freedom of choice for the individuals must be and should be protected from the tyranny of the state. Furthermore considering the kind of state we have with us, all the more we should double effort.

Curing the symptom aids not in curing the source of the problem sometimes, and I believe it is true in this case. What then might be the cause of this phenomenon? Local men losing their manhood, while local women increasingly losing their pool of potential local mates to other local men or the existing pool of foreign women in Singapore.