Taking a step back and enjoying the space

Suddenly, it felt as though the world around me is spinning at a faster and faster pace. Strangely, I felt increasingly detached to all these occurrences happening around me.

No longer is my cat able to stir any sense of annoyance in me when he cries out loud to be let out in the middle of the night. No longer do I get annoyed when my train of thought gets disrupted when some one around attempts to get my attention while I am in the midst of work. Perhaps what truly changed in me was the  sudden disappearance of this mysterious sense of mission that had been prodding me along for the past two years.

In retrospection, it was truly curious how it came about.

This afternoon, I took for myself a break while in the midst of drafting up a report of my findings from my survey of the staff nurses in Tan Tock Seng Hospital. I sat for 30 mintues in front of my Clavinova keyboard doodling away enjoying the disharmonic notes that were coming forth from the keyboards.

I unconsciously recalled of a time back in New Zealand, then I was sitting in the studio staring out of the window into the streets above under the gloomy skies.

I was suddenly affected by a tinge of sadness. What happened to those people from back then. It was like our paths diverged somewhere along the way and never ever crossed again, with the exception of a few.

Mansu finally got himself into Singapore for a business trip. We were out drinking last night. It felt as though it was just last week when I parted with him in Seoul. How strange the concept of time can be sometimes.

Suddenly I started laughing to myself, I remembered one phrase I plucked off hand from somewhere in the cosmos and threw to the crowd during one of my conversations.

“How do you relieve your stress? ” some one ever asked me then.

“Just start relaxing and some one else will start feeling the stress instead” I replied.

We laughed not because it was nonsense but because, as with all jokes that are ever really humorous,  it carries a grain of truth in it.

Stress is truly something perceived and an illusion like life itself.  Try as we might, the earth will still hurtle through the universe at break speed with us on it. Try as we might, it is still inevitable we continue falling through this abyss called life.

Many calls to action, but most of them a waste of effort. It is for the best to just respond to those that really matter.

Lately I started harboring deeply this notion that to work is to devote time to art and inspiration. To devote effort for monetary profits or out of fear is in essence not truly work, it falls more under the category of slavery a laborious task indeed.

If my interpretations are sound and correct, wouldn’t it be true then that there are more slaves than free man amongst us human nowadays. Nice! Modern as it may seem we are once again in the feudal age.

Huge influx of opportunites and the hidden opportunity cost

Suddenly I experienced a surge in the amount of opportunities coming my way these few weeks. Being faithful to the teachings in the topic of Economy during my times in the commerce faculty back in Junior college and in the stream of electronic commerce  back while I was doing my honours in the university, I understood and felt strongly the other side of the equation.

Opportunity cost!

Opportunity cost is defined as the lost incurred when you forego the next best alternative in the process of deciding on one of the available opportunities.

Let me talk in layman terms for your better understanding. Suppose one day you decide to spend 5 hours of your time reading a book in the library instead of spending those 5 hours sitting by the beach and reading the same book. The opportunity cost to you in this situation is the joy you feel when you sit by the beach. In this scenario, the cost is hard to quantify.

Let me illustrate for you a better example which I will draw from a real life situation.

Client A approaches me presenting before me a deal that could potentially make $4000. It requires an upfront investment of my real time of 80 hours. (as opposed to virtual time – aka asynchronous delay or some one else’s time) There exist 2% chance of complications happening. (this we will define as risk)

Client B approaches me at the same time presenting me another deal that could potentially make $10,000. It requires an upfront investment of my real time of 300 hours. (as opposed to virtual time – aka asynchronous delay or some one else’s time) There exist 10% chance of complications happening. (this we will define as risk)

As both clients came to me at the same time in need of my real time immediately, I am now faced with a situation whereby I will need to choose one and forego the other. To a normal person, he would very likely choose the deal that offers $10,000. However on closer inspection, the second deal is not actually a very good deal as compared to the other.

Let me work out the mathetics

Total likely incurrable man hours for deal A – 80 hours X 1.02 = 82 hours
Total revenue receivable $4000
Actual hourly rate for real time sold = $48.5

Total likely incurrable man hours for deal B – 300 X 1.05 = 315 hours
Total revenue receivable $10,000
Actual hourly rate for real time sold = $31.75

Some might explain that the lower rate justifies for the large sum of potential revenue receiveable in deal A. Ok then lets do the math for the other part of the equation still left invisible.

Given this active period in the market, the percentage of closing more deals simlar to A in nature is around 60%. Translated into hours it would be estimated at  (315-82 hours) * 0.60 = 140 hours

Appling the prevailings rates in deal A to this equation, I will get 140hours X 48.5 = $6,790

So if I choose to take up deal A and forego deal B, below are the mathematics:

I will have saved [315 – (140+82 )] 93 hours of my precious time and still potentially make [$10,790 – $10,000] $790 more.

Also since, I have a few channels which I could devote my time to build up recurring  income, this 93 hours extra time available at my disposal could thus be used to expose myself to the effects of the positive black swan, with zero opportunity cost incurred by me. So basically, the net comparison will be as per below :

[$10,790 +++ versus $10,000 nett]

Actually the equation that brought me to the conclusion of never getting myself employed into a full time job and a fix salary per month is almost similar to this. Get employed with a fix salary of $3000 per month and the possible financial situation you will be facing for the next 12 months will likely be

($3,000 X 12 ) = $36, 000 —

  • The minus sign is just in case your boss decides to fire your ass before the year ends.
  • also your maximum potential income has been capped at $36,000

Go about living life as a free bird

$0+++ = ???

  • Don’t worry God is kind
  • you normally won’t die from what you already, it is usually what you don’t know that will kill you.
  • You know what is your base but your upper boundary has no limits!

Life is great live free!!!!!

A web that is hard to escape from

I sat by the river of Kallang enjoying the breeze as the sun slowly set over the western horizon. it was the end of the year again and the winds from the north were blowing. The air was chilly. Certain parts of Singapore has been flooded today due to heavy incessant raining. Alena was with me entertaining herself. We sat beside each other, but as is normally the case, worlds apart from each other.

It so chanced across my mind the idea of what constitutes the shakespearen style tragedy during that very instance sitting there by the river with all these around me. In such normal tragedies the main character meets a bad end not because of his flaws but ironically because of his strength. A strength which in that unique instance of a situation becomes a fatal flaw.

Past few weeks the incentive to work for money slowly but surely evaporated like the morning mist with the coming of dawn. I was of the mind to step away for a while and do some journeying. What kept me working was but duty. To avoid no task, but to handle and deliver everything promptly as has been promised and agreed upon. Ironically, it was mainly due to closely sticking to this only mission statement and my lack of incentive for money that causes a contradiction.

My lack of incentive for money wishes that each project that comes in be the last for a while, my close sticking to my mission statement was like a magnet that inevitably attracts more and more projects and consequently money in my direction, additional of which I really have not much need of at the moment. It was hard if not impossible that other elements on this net of karmic cause and effect be convinced that my time and effort be inconsequential and not useful to their cause and agenda without my active involvment in betraying my cause and mission statement.

Metaphorically it resembled a Shakespearean style tragedy. One obtains not what one desires due not to his lack of strengths but exactly because of the existance of such strengths.

I continued sitting on the bench by the river pondering how I ever landed myself up in this web of things?

Why money?

Recently I have been spending alot. More than what I have budgeted for per period time. In reflection though these spendings are not really derived from needs or necessity but seriously due to the lack of answer for this fundamental question? On good food and tonns on books.

Why the hell am I still wasting time working and making money? Seemingly I have made enough money for a long while a year or more perhaps given my predictable spending habits. Any extra money is but just some figures sitting in the bank account.

It seems money as a compensation for effort spent on work is just not really enough past a point.

Even though having spent way more than I should on what I dont really need, I still felt that something fundamentally was missing. I literally walked half of Singapore on foot the other day just searching for that missing answer. Dropped off a bus at fort canning park and slowly made my way on foot to Mount Faber and thereafter on foot back to Clementi traversing through the southern ridges. At some points in time, I did feel as though I could almost grasp at the abstract thing i was searching for however always it remained elusive.

The day after though when I just so happened to step into the National Geographic shop in Vivocity, I was totally blown away. Coming to a wall at the far end of the shop staring back at me was a huge map on the world on the wall, with each and every country and territory clearly demarcated one beside the other. Lying around the place too were photos and books on the exploits of fellow adventures to parts of the world hidden from most.

Yes! This is and remains the only reason as to my motivation for working my ass of making money. Alena’s living expenses aside. Without this goal of traversing the world overland or by boat, life becomes truly meaningless, despite the tonns of money to be made.

That night I made Alena a proposal. We must go to India and journey from the southern parts to the northern parts just south of the Himalayan region, if not Bhutan, Nepal than Kashmir. To go I must!

Every one has something to say – use a blog!

Recently I met a religio while on the bus on my way home. She took my contact number and started sending me lots of religious messages. Being a free thinker, most of these messages just came into my phone and went into the trash folder. It was just too long to read over an SMS. and I hate longs SMS s over the phone.

Then it occurred to me, I thought hey all these efforts by her should not be going to waste. so what happens immediately after that was that I set up a blog for her at adonis.name1price.com for her to send her message out to the world.

Now, my phone avoids getting overloaded with mesages not related to my essential day to day operations and at the same time she gains access to the whole world’s audience. And the whole world’s audiences may finally get themselves some salvation if indeed they are looking for some.

Who knows she with her vigor might just turn out to be the next Anthony Robbins or Robert Kiyosaki!

Cool Islam site

Recently while surfing the web I came across this Islam site built by a Singaporean company. I found it to be very impressive. The way the visual elements of the site positioned the image of the religion. But more specifically the sound tracks of the site are what attracted me. I have been listening around Pop and Jazz music recently. While Jazz harmonies remains still interesting for me, pop songs in general are nothing something to listen to when attempting to look for new unique progressions.

Islamic music however is a different breed of its own, with its scale that steps out of the traditional half steps tones normally used in the main stream genere.

Find out for yourself if you will

Here is the site



It was Sunday, having just finished dinner with Anabel, her sister in law, I stepped out into the streets. Walking on foot from Marine Parade to Paya Lebar, I contemplated on what she said. It seems irregardless of the stations in life one occupies, rich or poor, successful or down , smart or dull, the central idea to happiness is always a challenge.

The concept of happiness it seems involves many if not infinite factors. Hence the coefficient of each factor contributing to the general level of happiness one experiences though in the short run is significant, fast becomes negligible due to the short saturation cycle.

Each of us has 24 hrs per day and only so much resources at hand. To fulfill each factor that contributes to happiness demands for time and resources. Scarity is a very real thing.

Alrity ,so it seems being constantly happy is a myth, we should pretty much forget about it. So what about being happy in the short run? That it seems is the norm around us. We have this today, we are happy. Soon we are not. We need next to find something else to fill the gap. Thus we did. We become happy again, until of course we hit the next cycle. Examined from a bird’s eye view level, It is a seemingly endless and meaningless cycle that stops only at the end of each of our life cycle.

Then Eureka! I suddenly recalled a monk’s invitation to enter into monkhood in a monastry in Thailand many years ago. Perhaps monks do lead a happy life… Perhaps I should really attempt to find sometime off these next few months to enter into monkhood. Hopefully, Alena will be patient with my absense during this phase of my life journey. If not AiYaiYAi!!! there goes my peace from life in monkhood. Once during a filming session, I met Kah Keong. He was a former monk for two years before returning back to Singapore. Truth is I got pretty fascinated with the whole idea after the conversation ended.

I finally arrived at Paya Lebar, and hopped onto bus 7 heading over to Glen Eagles Hospital to visit my Mom. All seems well I felt at peace. I could already imagine myself meditating in some Thai monastery, unit The bus stopped somewhere along Geylang Lorong 20plus. A lady in her 50s came on the bus. Interestingly off all the free seats available on the bus, she choose to squeeze in one of the most uncomfortable one, the inner seat beside mine. Just in case you had no idea, I am a big man, I occupy lots of space.

Then all of a sudden she struck a conversation, which took the most crazy of turns. So she has visions… she believes in God and Jesus, the Jewish branch. She wears the Star of David instead of the traditional cross. She condemns Buddhism, Taoism, Christianity, Catholicism and Islam-ism as Paganism and bullshit. After much conversation it seems she also made it her business to sell some obscure versions of the Bible through the internet. (Check out these URLS if you will http://goldendoves.com/, http://cgbconline.org/ , http://www.dpmchina.com/) Then she went on to commit an inverse logical error by attempting to link the cause of my moms health to her and dad’s religion.

An example of an inverse logical error : Given a 3 why assume it is a 1+ 2 when so many other combinations including 4 – 1 can fit the criteria?

So what can I do? Smile my most patronizing million dollar smile at her of course.

Hey I don’t mind, just the other day I was toying around with this sentence in my head “I believe in the church but not in God…” But mind you, no offense, it was just pure experimental speculations no harm intended. I was just wondering how willing this society of ours might accept this phrase which happened to pop into my head from God knows where. Fortunately or unfortunately whichever way you might want to take it, I only arrived at nothing conclusive.

However this lady… Wow, she is the REAL THING! From her intonation it seems less a mere statement than an official declaration against the freedom of religion.Make her the Prime Minister and I think all religions will be banned really soon.

Still from my point of view, it is important for her to have her views. after all I am a great fan of Voltair, the classical “I might not agree with what you say, but I will fight to the deaths for you to have your say”. In my case being less violence inclined, I modify that space to be “I might not agree with what you say, but I will give you your space to say it”.

What an irony it seems. Here I am contemplating about entering into the monastary and then suddenly out of no where this radical agent pops up and propose strongly that I betray my intended cause and switch to hers.

So what is happening to the world nowadays? Has all businesses been so hard hit by the recent recession that even Omni Potent Entities through religions are fighting for followers?

Suddenly I got reminded of this humorous author Terry Prachet of which one of his books I read years ago. Check him out, if you will it is cool stuff. Warning for the more staunchly religious minded, take it with a pinch of salt, if not avoid it at all cost.