In the midst of a conversation that lead to “No” and subsequent feelings of awkwardness, the following insight occurred to me. It was truly liberating.
It is perfectly fine to sit and observe the feelings of awkwardness in the atmosphere. There is no need to attempt any aversion.
It was perfectly fine to allow the other party to deal with the inconvenience that was perceived. There was no need to resort to appeasement of any sort
It was perfectly fine to not “fight” when provoked. It was perfectly fine to not “flight” when provoked.
It was perfectly fine to not attempt at showing strengthen. It was perfectly fine to not reach with weakness.
It was perfectly fine to allow the other party the freedom to take responsibility by making his own decision.
The only thing to do was to observe and acknowledge the moment by moment passing of this occurrence.
On further contemplation, an individual’s need to be liked stems from:
- the need for the warm fuzzy feeling that one usually gets when with family especially with one’s mother
- the inherent feelings of deficiency that could be attributed to lack of character building from a young age
- the primitive fear of being abandoned and left for dead by one’s tribe
These are outdated mental patterns that has been ingrained in the subconscious.