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Key Points
- happiness is determined by one’s state of mind than external events
- each person is born with a genetic happiness baseline
- how we perceive our situation
- how satisfied we are with what we have
- Learning and Education is the first step to become happy through the process of Mental Conditioning
- The purpose of our existence is to seek happiness
- Happiness is different from pleasure
- 4 factors
- Wealth – how much resources we have at our disposal
- Worldy satisfaction – health, friendship
- Spirituality – alignment between our endeavours, our mental attitude and our mission & purpose in life
- Enlightenment – true and unbiased perception of reality
- Buddhism – systematic training of the mind towards happiness
- inner discipline to bring calmness of mind – practice of Dharma
- identify and cultivate positive mental states
- identify and eliminate negative mental states
- One mental state displaces the other mental state
- cultivating happiness benefits oneself and others around them
- happiness is contagious
- happiness inhibits prejudice, instinctual bias against others we perceive as different
- most parts of life relies on help from other individuals
- Compassion and Happiness mutually reinforces each other
- Intimacy
- Learning to be vulnerable – basis for relationship of any kind that is not tied to material conditions
- steps
- understand and appreciate the background of the person
- stay open-minded
- be honest
- Restricting intimacy to just that “Special One” is too limiting
- Pain versus Suffering
- Living a physical life is learning about how to face pain and still remain a warm human being
- Pain is a very important mechanism that keeps us alive and away from danger
- Suffering stems from ignorance, craving and hatred
- Karma is a very active process
- to deeply understand underlying cause and effects
- Stop blaming our circumstances of things beyond our immediate control and start focusing our attention on actionable items
- stop contributing to factors now to effects that want to mitigate from happening in the future
- a wrongful understanding – blaming everything on past life !?!
- Tibetan practice: TongLen – cultivates compassion
- Magnitude of meaning increases threshold to withstand pain
- How to perceive “Enemy”
- Think Weight training
- A great opportunity for growth
- There are very few of them. They are hence very precious
- They are a great opportunity to learn about patience
- Cleansing of hatred in self
- Cultivation of compassion in moments when patience is tried
- Flexible thinking
- develop ability to entertain a variety of view points
- Rigidity is a sign of being to fixated on a specific Point of View
- Emphasize on common ground results in feelings of connection with all human being leads to compassion and altruism
- Values – Bedrock foundation
- I want to be happy and don’t want to suffer
- Other human beings like myself also want to be happy and don’t want to suffer
- Suffering unifies all living creature
- Balance
- Avoid extremes – a sign of narrow mindedness
- skillful approach to life
- having realistic expectations
- Mental states
- One displaces another
- Tolerance and Patience is a cure for all other negative mental state
- Patience – sustains will power
- Humility
- patience
- self-discipline
- restrain
- Forgiveness
- results from tolerance and patience
- Sincere Motivation – cures fear and anxiety
- Self-confidence – being honest and straight-forward about one’s own abilities
Further Readings
- Intimate Behavior, Desmond Morris
- Hold me tight
- Put me down
- Leave me alone
